I love animals, birds, how the trees whisper in the morning wind and how the cows quietly graze on the fields. There's so much beauty, but at the middle of this beauty, there's still also trauma.  Pain that sits at the core of one's being, trauma from childhood from being neglected and forgotten, for growing up and never belonging.

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For still not belonging as an adult and sadness for those who share similar experiences. Feel like they don't fit anywhere, for those who had to grow up too fast and develop incredible strength to get through all of it. There's beauty in that strength, but it's often the same strength that makes us put up our defences, makes us cold and cynical as adults. 

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I still want to see beauty and magic. I think it has always been by innate exceptional ability to see beauty around me, even in the most grim situations. I think it's the ability to notice the small sparkles of joy that brought me through trauma, essentially helped to survive.

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So it might be contradictory to paint pretty birds and childhood trauma at the same time, like they're two very separate things. They're not. 

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We all have souls that are healing and to me the only cure to that is beauty and magic. Still believing behind all the pain that there is still beauty and magic in the world and they're the universe hand out to heal us. I desperately want to tell that to others; that I can see your pain, hot and raw, cause it's my pain also. 

I can see your solitude, cause I know it like the back of my hands too. I know down to my core how it feels to never belong. But I also desperately want to tell them that there is so much beauty around us if we took a moment to look. Magic we saw when we were kids, magic we can still see if we let our adult guard down for a moment. 

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Majestic old cow standing in her field like an ancient royalty. Birds in every colour of the rainbow, trees singing of ancient days. 

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Yes, there is darkness, but there is all this light also. And you're strong so incredibly strong.